god today was rough. the littlest things upset me bc i'm autistic, so i'm just exhausted. i tried making some kandi today and it was my first time making a cuff, and i am so not good at it and i just got so frustrated over it. i'm also super tired of my art. i feel like the vast majority of people are better than me, and trying ot get anatomy right is annoying. i'm just tired and sick of this.
Mental Health Check In
- hugz <3
°dni if you support l0l1con, dd1g, or anything similar°
°dni if you support l0l1con, dd1g, or anything similar°
LizardKiwi wrote:
That said, if you are in school/university, your student health center may offer free counseling. If not, your doctor may be able to direct you to free pro bono counselors, counselors in training, or sliding scale programs that offer discounted rates based on clients income.
Since you like having a space to vent, there are a few more options:
1. "Warm lines." They are like crisis hot lines except not for crises. I believe you are in the USA, so here is a list of them by state: https://screening.mhanational.org/content/need-talk-someone-warmlines/
Some are 24/7, some are not. But you should be able to call one in a different state if your state doesn't offer convenient hours.
2. Support groups. Again, many states & countries have free support groups. I used to attend Suicide Anonymous's online meetings (online years before the pandemic), which were international: https://suicideanonymous.net/meeting-list In the USA, NAMI offers meetings in most, if not all states: https://www.nami.org/Home I also know of Depression-Bipolar Support Alliance and quite a few 12 step groups, depending on what people are dealing with. I have heard Al Anon is pretty popular for people with dysfunctional families, although it was originally specifically for the families of alcoholics.
3. The Samaritans is another international option. You can write an actual letter or an email. They are also beta testing an IM feature. IM isn't available for everyone, but it's something to look forward to. https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
4. Journaling. I've been journaling daily for 10 years now but I have journals from 20 years ago. My journals are a safe place for me to vent & always have been.
5. Apps, like 7 Cups, connect you to someone who will listen to you.
7 Cups Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sevencupsoftea.app&hl=en_US&gl=US
7 Cups Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/7-cups-online-therapy-chat/id921814681
Again, please feel free to continue to post here. However, here are some other sources you can consider, if you feel like you are relying heavily on this thread.
I know I should be seeking professional help but I can't afford it right now. It's okay, this isn't the first time it's been so bad I needed a therapist and I know I'll be able to muscle through until I can see someone. I appreciate this space that I can vent in a lotWell, I certainly know that professional help is expensive. Even with health insurance (which in & of itself is expensive), my copay is three figures per session. Quite ridiculous. Even when I could afford to pay someone 3 figures for 45 minutes of their time, I didn't feel like it was worth it.
That said, if you are in school/university, your student health center may offer free counseling. If not, your doctor may be able to direct you to free pro bono counselors, counselors in training, or sliding scale programs that offer discounted rates based on clients income.
Since you like having a space to vent, there are a few more options:
1. "Warm lines." They are like crisis hot lines except not for crises. I believe you are in the USA, so here is a list of them by state: https://screening.mhanational.org/content/need-talk-someone-warmlines/
Some are 24/7, some are not. But you should be able to call one in a different state if your state doesn't offer convenient hours.
2. Support groups. Again, many states & countries have free support groups. I used to attend Suicide Anonymous's online meetings (online years before the pandemic), which were international: https://suicideanonymous.net/meeting-list In the USA, NAMI offers meetings in most, if not all states: https://www.nami.org/Home I also know of Depression-Bipolar Support Alliance and quite a few 12 step groups, depending on what people are dealing with. I have heard Al Anon is pretty popular for people with dysfunctional families, although it was originally specifically for the families of alcoholics.
3. The Samaritans is another international option. You can write an actual letter or an email. They are also beta testing an IM feature. IM isn't available for everyone, but it's something to look forward to. https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
4. Journaling. I've been journaling daily for 10 years now but I have journals from 20 years ago. My journals are a safe place for me to vent & always have been.
5. Apps, like 7 Cups, connect you to someone who will listen to you.
7 Cups Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sevencupsoftea.app&hl=en_US&gl=US
7 Cups Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/7-cups-online-therapy-chat/id921814681
Again, please feel free to continue to post here. However, here are some other sources you can consider, if you feel like you are relying heavily on this thread.
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.” ~Stephen Fry
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
CinnamonSugar, thank you so much for all the resources. I kind of forget that they’re there especially when I need them most cause I’m super focused on how bad I’m feeling and how much I want it to stop. It was really kind of you go to out of your way and gather all these things for me, I’ll definitely make use of them both because I need them and I don’t want your trouble to go to waste. I really appreciate you. Thank you.
Call me Ezra pls :)
Starbuck wrote:
Hi! How is your mental health today?Absolutely terrible!
1. To Ezra
2. Venting
1. Ezra you are not alone. Lesbian high five. You 100% deserve love and support from the people in your life, especially your parents, and feeling grief over what your relationship was and isn't, or could or should have been, is totally natural and understandable. Unfortunately there are really a lot of us queer folk and abuse survivors who have had rocky relationships with family of origin and had to be wily and learn to build families we choose because of homophobia and rejection. It's a lot and it's hard and the world.is not always kind but it's not your fault and you don't deserve what's happening at home, and even if you can't come out right now, you can be yourself here and as you gain some economic footing of your own you may be able to make different moves in your own life down the line. Where you are right now is ok, you are being smart and self protective. In addition to Cinnamon's really excellent resources I want to make a plug for the Trevor Project as well. I called them when I was a closeted 17 year old living in my abusive homophobic mom's house and in addition to being a great suicide hotline they have people who get what it's like to be young and queer or trans and having a bad time--they're staffed 24/7 and if I am not mistaken there are chat and text and phone options.
Thetrevorproject.org. i didn't see you mention being trans but I hope the trans/nonbinary/gender expansive folks in this forum know about the trans lifeline, which is staffed by and for trans folks.
2. Venting
Ok this is just venting. I can talk to my shrink on Monday. Rough depression day. Ongoing grief plus bad news that is going to upend my life and greatly increase stress and make my housing/access to food and health care more precarious in the next year plus vaccine side effects that include both mood swings and blood sugar swings and worse and more prolonged pain which does not help the depression plus I got zucked for "hate speech" that was actually me condemning racism but now I am cut off from most of my communities for a full week...ugh rough ass weekend.
2. Venting
1. Ezra you are not alone. Lesbian high five. You 100% deserve love and support from the people in your life, especially your parents, and feeling grief over what your relationship was and isn't, or could or should have been, is totally natural and understandable. Unfortunately there are really a lot of us queer folk and abuse survivors who have had rocky relationships with family of origin and had to be wily and learn to build families we choose because of homophobia and rejection. It's a lot and it's hard and the world.is not always kind but it's not your fault and you don't deserve what's happening at home, and even if you can't come out right now, you can be yourself here and as you gain some economic footing of your own you may be able to make different moves in your own life down the line. Where you are right now is ok, you are being smart and self protective. In addition to Cinnamon's really excellent resources I want to make a plug for the Trevor Project as well. I called them when I was a closeted 17 year old living in my abusive homophobic mom's house and in addition to being a great suicide hotline they have people who get what it's like to be young and queer or trans and having a bad time--they're staffed 24/7 and if I am not mistaken there are chat and text and phone options.
Thetrevorproject.org. i didn't see you mention being trans but I hope the trans/nonbinary/gender expansive folks in this forum know about the trans lifeline, which is staffed by and for trans folks.
2. Venting
Ok this is just venting. I can talk to my shrink on Monday. Rough depression day. Ongoing grief plus bad news that is going to upend my life and greatly increase stress and make my housing/access to food and health care more precarious in the next year plus vaccine side effects that include both mood swings and blood sugar swings and worse and more prolonged pain which does not help the depression plus I got zucked for "hate speech" that was actually me condemning racism but now I am cut off from most of my communities for a full week...ugh rough ass weekend.
***queerness intensifies***
Share the fat pride and liberation here: https://bimbo.land/forum/show-me-your-boombos/t4278
Disability/Mad/Deaf/Crip pride here: https://bimbo.land/forum/disabled-people-are-hot-show-me-your-disabled-bimbo-lewks/t5057
Share the fat pride and liberation here: https://bimbo.land/forum/show-me-your-boombos/t4278
Disability/Mad/Deaf/Crip pride here: https://bimbo.land/forum/disabled-people-are-hot-show-me-your-disabled-bimbo-lewks/t5057
i've been so anxious lately. everything upsets me, and going anywhere sets me off. i'm not sure how to cope with this, but i'm not surprised i feel this way.
- hugz <3
°dni if you support l0l1con, dd1g, or anything similar°
°dni if you support l0l1con, dd1g, or anything similar°
Put off asking for a ptsd assessment because of uni work, but now my mental health has gotten so so much worse lmao
I’ve got an amazing ex who’s been helping me through all of this, but I still feel alone? Hopefully if it is ptsd, getting diagnosed will let me be more open about it to friends and family, then maybe I’ll feel better :p
I’ve got an amazing ex who’s been helping me through all of this, but I still feel alone? Hopefully if it is ptsd, getting diagnosed will let me be more open about it to friends and family, then maybe I’ll feel better :p
Chat too much shit for my own good, with sprinkled with an annoying amount of shitposting
Queerla wrote:
It's a lot and it's hard and the world.is not always kind but it's not your fault and you don't deserve what's happening at home, and even if you can't come out right now, you can be yourself hereThank you Queerla :) I had a nice day with my best friend yesterday as it was her birthday (I promise we were being covid safe) and while nobody in my real life calls me Ezra because I'm not yet ready to tell them that part of me, It was really nice to get out and almost feel like a normal human being for once. She does know I'm a lesbian and she's bisexual so we were joking about that all day, and it was nice to have a lighthearted day. I live with my mom who is bisexual as well and super liberal (you can only get a gen X-er to be so left leaning) so I've been out to her for a long time, so at least I have my mom's side of the family. I'm feeling better since when I talked about my dad a few days ago because I know I have a lot of friends and blood family that care for and accept me no matter what. Thank you for the additional resource :) I hope everyone has a good day. I just hope your allergies aren't as bad as mine.
Call me Ezra pls :)
Feeling hurt today by someone who I used to feel very safe with.
This person refuses to apologize because someone once told them to never apologize. (Side note: I wonder if they misunderstood. For example, Ive been told to not apologize for something that's beyond my control, like don't say, "Im sorry your mother has cancer.")
I also had a hard time yesterday & today with my abusive mother & overnight, nightmares of her abuse.
When things like this happen, treatment can feel very hopeless. Me taking medication & me going to therapy doesn't change my mum. My previous experiences with therapy were very ineffective at helping me cope. Ex. "Emotion regulation skills" like eating chocolate or smelling essential oils don't take away the hurt of of my mother saying no one will ever love me.
This person refuses to apologize because someone once told them to never apologize. (Side note: I wonder if they misunderstood. For example, Ive been told to not apologize for something that's beyond my control, like don't say, "Im sorry your mother has cancer.")
I also had a hard time yesterday & today with my abusive mother & overnight, nightmares of her abuse.
When things like this happen, treatment can feel very hopeless. Me taking medication & me going to therapy doesn't change my mum. My previous experiences with therapy were very ineffective at helping me cope. Ex. "Emotion regulation skills" like eating chocolate or smelling essential oils don't take away the hurt of of my mother saying no one will ever love me.
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.” ~Stephen Fry
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
i saw this on tumblr and i thought it was a really good reminder, here is the post
“You can’t deserve a person’s love. You’ll drive yourself crazy thinking like that. They either love you, or they don’t. That doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough for them to love you, because love isn’t something you earn by being good enough. It isn’t something that can be quantified or doled out. Don’t blame yourself for not being loved how you need to, just teach yourself how to look for love where love lives. This isn’t just about romantic love, or even skewed towards romantic love, although it does apply there too. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to accept is that my mother simply wasn’t someone who was capable of loving me, and there is no version of me that I could have ever been that would have earned that love. But with acceptance came healing. I was able to love myself more instead of resenting myself for not being more than any one person could be. Are you listening? Even love for yourself isn’t earned. It is a kindness you give yourself.”
“You can’t deserve a person’s love. You’ll drive yourself crazy thinking like that. They either love you, or they don’t. That doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough for them to love you, because love isn’t something you earn by being good enough. It isn’t something that can be quantified or doled out. Don’t blame yourself for not being loved how you need to, just teach yourself how to look for love where love lives. This isn’t just about romantic love, or even skewed towards romantic love, although it does apply there too. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to accept is that my mother simply wasn’t someone who was capable of loving me, and there is no version of me that I could have ever been that would have earned that love. But with acceptance came healing. I was able to love myself more instead of resenting myself for not being more than any one person could be. Are you listening? Even love for yourself isn’t earned. It is a kindness you give yourself.”
on hiatus <3
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