Has this ever happened to you?

25.07.2015 05:02:15
Michelle858B

Just back from the Pleiades star cluster. I couldn't land the Flying Saucer (Frisbee) cause the yard had around 200 tons of sales and flyers all over it. I had to use the DeathRay which was tricky cause I didn't want to vaporize a hole all the way down to the earth's core. As I read the news, perhaps it's not such a bad idea... Fortunately in my calculations, the uncut grass alone would buffer the 1Billion Petawatts in a 2.39nanosecond burst, preventing most damage to the outer crust.

I don't think anyone will notice
..much

I'm really good at these death ray calculations.. well pretty good.... well ok maybe a bit off. ok my calculator sucks.
I need something with at least 300 decimal places.

Perhaps if I place a rug over it no one will notice?

25.07.2015 05:02:15

25.07.2015 23:26:10
HeavenLeighBimbo

Image: http://i58.tinypic.com/2vulgs7.jpg

I returned from picking ice from Uranus to plant on the Earths polar regions, to find a horde of rabid global warming freaks licking the stamps on my unwanted Junk mail begging for DONATIONS of CASH...
I didn't bother doing any calculations. I hit the panicky reverse thrusters, to give me time to plan a landing that wouldn't crush any ants, making a huge stink in my sunflower fields. The result was a bit less desirable. The government offered me 100 trillion dollars, to supply copper, at 10 cent per 1 penny made by the government.
A rug wont fix this, unless it is a Persian rug, made from the hair of 100 virgin camels. I've been searching for a good vendor of such household goods, but I'm only finding glass beads, made from native sands. They tell me that they are 5000 years old, but I think I ,might need a few trillion metric tons to fix this disaster I'll just make a swimming pool for the beavers to swim in instead. It could be a nice place for a bottomless ocean of human waste...
The foundations of my home were riddled with Beaver poo. At least the racoons came along and convinced the beavers to build a dam farther down stream, where the nests of Eagles might not be in so much peril from the wasteful habits of the birds and bees.
Image: http://i59.tinypic.com/n51loi.jpg

Image: http://i59.tinypic.com/n51loi.jpg

BTW this REALLY is my back yard and the remains of a home that slid down the very deep hole in the ground. Engineers fail at their own peril.
I have the first ash tray made of the first copper, from my biggest mistake. I sent the other 99 produced to investors in China with gift baskets of, "made in the USA", spicy freeze dried, tacos. Thank Heavens, I could find some illegal workers, to put together something so fancy out of nothing but a little bit of dirt and rocks, and a really hot smelter.

25.07.2015 23:26:10

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